How should I improve my grades?

[Red]

For most of my life, I'd say I was a pretty good student; I always made the Principal's Honor Roll in Middle School, according to my mom, I did near the top of my class for the State tests in 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade, and in Freshman year of high school, I had about a 93 average, and I took advanced classes. Ah, life was good.

But then that all changed. I talked about it before, but I'll retell it. In Sophomore year high school, as I've gone over, and if you remember some of the things I was saying at the time, I was really, really depressed (or at least I thought I was. The issue was, I was getting lazy). I hated school, and had this constant gnawing of "Wow, you're probably gonna end up leading a shitty life, and you're cooped up in this school, how's that make you feel?" So I let my grades drop... a lot. I got my first C's in my life, but I really didn't care. I only cared enough to not have to go to Summer School. I had decent grades in History and English, since those classes were naturally easy for me. However, for the classes that I think are more important, being Math and Science, I let things drop. Oh yeah, and my foreign language class too, but even to this day I don't give a fuck about that lol. I'm not sure how many people know about Father Guido but this clip is relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO8x8eoU3L4

I actually had to be sent to the academic counselor since they saw how much my grades slipped. "You're on a downward spiral here" and inside I was like "Yeah, so?" I had to see my personal counselor weekly, but I don't think that helped. She even referred me to a professional therapist which I had to go see weekly; the guy was good, but I don't think it helped.

Junior year my mindset on school changed; I understood that it mattered. The issue is, I had difficulty following through on it. I mean maybe if my PreCalc teacher were better, but still I didn't do amazing. Oh yeah, and it was about this time that I started to get interested in Physics, but again those grades were somewhat lacking. I don't think it's because I didn't know the material, but I just made many many dumb careless mistakes. I did pretty good in Anatomy and my other classes though. Religion was OK too.

The reason why this bothers me is because since my grades weren't high enough, I wasn't able to get into the classes I wanted to, which was sort of heart breaking. This is a bit of a fear for me, since I need my grades to be high enough if I want to enter grad school. Plus, I think I missed the opportunity to get into a better school; Sure, the material is all the same regardless of where you go, but again, it plays into opportunities. I'm hoping to transfer eventually but who knows.

I think the issue is, since I was not able to establish good academic habits in high school, it's really affecting me now in college. And it's not that the material doesn't interest me; I enjoy learning the material for most of my classes (I really don't like my computer programming class, I think it's pretty damn boring and tedious; it isn't super hard, but it's boring). When I'm in class, I take many notes, ask and answer questions, and provide some of my prior knowledge. Hell, last semester everyone thought I knew all there was to know about Physics because I answered so many of the questions correctly, and some came to me for physics help (the thing is, while I knew all the concepts, I had a really hard time doing physics). However, I'm easily distracted and my mind wanders often when I try studying and doing homework. I do get it done and do an OK job in the end, but I know I can do better.

I think it's that, I feel as though I've been given these intellectual gifts, and I just squander them for hedonistic pleasures, which has hurt many potential opportunities for me not just academic related. I feel as though my lackluster grades are always gonna haunt me, even though it isn't very rational. I think I suffer from chronic procrastination; Even the things I want to do, such as reading more and working on videos, I never have the motivation to do them. It's not that I don't like doing them, it's just the task always seems insurmountable, and I'll never do that good of a job anyway.

The thing is, I've been told that I'm intelligent by many of my friends and teachers, because I talk a lot during class, but I given my grades, I don't believe it. Hell for those that remember when I went to that Libertarian debate thing, I was actually invited by my Religion teacher (along with a few others) because he felt we had insightful things to say or something along those lines and I was like 'well the things I say ain't that insightful' but whatevs. Great teacher though, and great guy, despite my disagreeing with his politics.

Am I not as smart as the others? Or am I just a negligent student and easily distracted? Do you think I can do better?

I've acquired some of the literature about how to be a better student. Let's see if it works.

[brimstoneSalad]

Getting into better habits may help, but if you're suffering from depression or ADD you may need to get on medication, at least for a while, to get back on track.

[Red]

Getting into better habits may help, but if you're suffering from depression or ADD you may need to get on medication, at least for a while, to get back on track.

I took some self-assessments of those to see if I qualify for a diagnosis of those, and they all say I should see a professional for a diagnosis (they say I have ADHD rather than just ADD). I'm not sure if I actually do have them, and it's more just me being negligent, but a professional opinion is what really matters.

Not sure if it would explain the lackluster grades though.