Philosophical Vegan Forum

EquALLity wrote:I wish I could pay attention in math class.

Granted. You are now so engrossed in mathematical education that you are physically addicted to math. Whenever you're not learning it, you'll experience terrible withdrawal symptoms.

I wish that I will pass my AP World History exam with a 5.

Cirion Spellbinder wrote:

EquALLity wrote:I wish I could pay attention in math class.

Granted. You are now so engrossed in mathematical education that you are physically addicted to math. Whenever you're not learning it, you'll experience terrible withdrawal symptoms.

I wish that I will pass my AP World History exam with a 5.

Wish granted. You fail your exam but you get a cardboard cutout of the number 5 which looks so ugly that you tear your eyes out.

I wish I was a watermelon. I don't care if anybody eats me.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:I wish I was a watermelon. I don't care if anybody eats me.

Wish granted, but you have a negative fiber count, not allowing you to be digested. You stay in the intestines for the rest of the hosts life, while you are painfully removed of your nutrients by the villi in the intestines. It hurts like shit. Speaking of which, you are one for the rest of the host's life.

I wish there was an apple improvement act.

RedAppleGP wrote: I wish there was an apple improvement act.

Wish Granted! All Iphones will immediately be improved. Apple corporation will massively expand, buying and destroying many actual apple orchards in the process. Those that are left will be killed off by a newly engineered fungus, and everyone will have to switch to pears.

I wish I could see into the future.

RedAppleGP wrote:

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:I wish I was a watermelon. I don't care if anybody eats me.

Wish granted, but you have a negative fiber count, not allowing you to be digested. You stay in the intestines for the rest of the hosts life, while you are painfully removed of your nutrients by the villi in the intestines. It hurts like shit. Speaking of which, you are one for the rest of the host's life.

I don't care. I am still happy.

PsYcHo wrote:

RedAppleGP wrote: I wish there was an apple improvement act.

Wish Granted! All Iphones will immediately be improved. Apple corporation will massively expand, buying and destroying many actual apple orchards in the process. Those that are left will be killed off by a newly engineered fungus, and everyone will have to switch to pears.

I wish I could see into the future.

Wish granted. You see yourself getting hit by a car, however you don't know when this will happen. This causes you to have a fear of cars so you will never cross the road ever again to prevent what you see from happening. You never leave your house for the rest of your life until one day a car crashes into it and kills you. In your last moments, you realize that if you had left the house, the car would never have killed him and that you are you and you have killed yourself by trying to prevent his own death. You die.

I wish everybody was forced to tell the truth and nobody could tell a lie.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:I wish everybody was forced to tell the truth and nobody could tell a lie.

Wish granted, now you have to tell your suspicious family about your underground coke and sex businesses.

I wish I could do cutaway gags in real life, like in Family Guy.

RedAppleGP wrote:

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:I wish everybody was forced to tell the truth and nobody could tell a lie.

Wish granted, now you have to tell your suspicious family about your underground coke and sex businesses.

I wish I could do cutaway gags in real life, like in Family Guy.

Granted, but you cut in the middle of the scene where Peter is raped by a bull and he decides to rape you as well.

I wish that I was not surrounded by idiots everyday.

RedAppleGP wrote:

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:I wish everybody was forced to tell the truth and nobody could tell a lie.

Wish granted, now you have to tell your suspicious family about your underground coke and sex businesses.

I wish I could do cutaway gags in real life, like in Family Guy.

I do not have a coke or sex business but even if I did, it wouldn't be anything to be ashamed of.

Insert name here wrote:

RedAppleGP wrote:

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:I wish everybody was forced to tell the truth and nobody could tell a lie.

Wish granted, now you have to tell your suspicious family about your underground coke and sex businesses.

I wish I could do cutaway gags in real life, like in Family Guy.

Granted, but you cut in the middle of the scene where Peter is raped by a bull and he decides to rape you as well.

I wish that I was not surrounded by idiots everyday.

Wish granted, you are now surrounded by idiots every day except for one.