Vegans dating non-vegans/Atheists dating theists

[Malik]

So, I don't know if this topic has been discussed in the forums before. Feel free to let me know. Otherwise, here goes: Part one of my question is what is your opinion on vegans dating non-vegans? Since I went vegan two years ago, I've dated two non-vegans and I've been atheist well before I even started dating, so I've dated more than my share of theists/spiritualists. The first of my non-vegan dates since I've been vegan actually went pretty well since they were starting to get interested in going vegan themselves. The second went terribly because they weren't as warm to the vegan lifestyle as they portrayed. Even before the second person, though, I had started thinking I should just date vegans for a number of reasons, from the fact that I don't really want animal products in my living space to the fact that I think it says some things that I really like about a person's character if they go ethically vegan. So, I'm actually kinda conflicted on this part.
Part two is your opinion on atheists dating theists. I've really never cared all that much because I didn't consciously go atheist. I just never really believed in anything. It was only in my teens and adulthood that I actually began to feel any real connection to atheism and have any stronger feelings toward religion vs skepticism. I'm actually kinda cool with dating theists/spiritualists depending on how deep into the rabbit hole they are.
Can't wait to hear your opinions.

[brimstoneSalad]

It was discussed a bit here recently:

https://theveganatheist.com/forum/viewt ... f=7&t=1036

But I'm not sure if that answers your question.
What do you mean by "dating"?
Does that just mean sex, or engaging in a long term relationship?

If the latter, I would say absolutely not. And most certainly not if children will ever be in the picture. I will refrain from commenting on the former.

However, dating could also mean (and really should only mean) non-exclusive meeting and getting to know a variety of people -- something which may or may not lead to sex or any kind of romantic relationship.
In which case, certainly. By dating (actually just dating, not having a relationship with) non-vegans, they may learn about veganism and decide to try it.

A first date? Fine. A second? If they show sincere interest. A third? If they have expressed that they are trying to go vegan.

I would only suggest entering into an actual relationship with somebody who is now/was already/or is now at least trying to go vegan.
You don't want to be stuck with an emotional commitment to an unwavering carnist who will never respect or believe in the same things you do; it's much too easy to allow infatuation to create emotional bias, and make excuses for a S.O. where none exist -- don't fall into that trap.
If after a couple dates and discussions he or she isn't showing interest in going vegan, it's very likely to be a lost cause (old dates could come around after a few years, but they're clearly closed to it at the present and pursuing those relationships without that understanding or with the assumption you can change them in time would be foolish).
Just find somebody else; there are too many people in the world to make excuses about scarcity.

[Malik]

However, dating could also mean (and really should only mean) non-exclusive meeting and getting to know a variety of people -- something which may or may not lead to sex or any kind of romantic relationship.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

The other topic doesn't answer my question. That one is more about how to find vegans to date. Mine is more about what people's opinions on vegans dating carnists/atheists dating theists are.

And I agree with the rest of what you said as well. Being a relatively new vegan and not knowing any other vegans personally, when I say to non-vegans that I'm not interested in dating non-vegans, they often make me feel guilty about it, like I'm being an elitist, which is pretty much why I started dating the second person. Though, I'm not sure that being an elitist is really a bad thing, anyway, when I think about it. Annoying to some, but not really a 'bad' thing. So, it dawned on me to ask other vegans what they think and if I really am being an asshole or something because I feel like it'd be better to only seek to forge a romantic relationship with a vegan.

Anyway, thanks a lot for responding.

[brimstoneSalad]

The other topic doesn't answer my question. That one is more about how to find vegans to date. Mine is more about what people's opinions on vegans dating carnists/atheists dating theists are.

You might need to read farther down in it, it turns into a conversation about that; whether it's even right to date a non-vegan at all.

when I say to non-vegans that I'm not interested in dating non-vegans, they often make me feel guilty about it, like I'm being an elitist,

They're the ones being assholes for not respecting you.

What if you said you were only willing to date non-pedophiles? They would probably agree with that.

The reason they don't respect your desire to date vegans, is because they see no value in your ethics, and have no respect for veganism.
They consider it nothing more than a trivial and superficial preference, like if you said you only wanted to date somebody whose favorite color was blue, or who was exactly 5'8.5" tall. They see it as pointless to not date somebody who eats meat, because they think veganism is pointless.

Though, I'm not sure that being an elitist is really a bad thing, anyway, when I think about it.

When it concerns the 'elitism' of not ambivalently causing massive amounts of animal suffering and environmental damage for personal pleasure, certainly not.

What might be a little elitist would be to shun new vegans, for example. "Well, you haven't been vegan long enough, so your ethics aren't as sincere as mine!"
But you're not doing that.

[Jebus]

This is an interesting question. If, for whatever reason, I were to find myself single again atheism and veganism would be definite prerequisites.

However, my viewpoint was not so strict when I met my current wife 10 years ago. At the time she was a ravid meat eater who identified herself as a catholic.

It didn't take me long to notice that she was intelligent. However, she had grown up in a non-functional educational system and lacked most of the intellectual back ground most of us utilize when contemplating veganism.

Ten years later, my wife has become a closet atheist (she agrees with me and all the antitheist Youtube videos I watch), although she has not yet announced her atheism to her family). Regarding eating habits, in 10 years she has transferred from a full meat eater to a pescetarian who does not consume eggs or dairy.

Yes, it bothers the hell out of me when my wife eats fish, but I really don't think it will take much longer before she is a full vegan. It all comes down to how tolerant you (Mr. and/or Mrs. vegan) are and how long you think it will be before your potential copulator grasps the vegan message.

[Malik]

You might need to read farther down in it, it turns into a conversation about that; whether it's even right to date a non-vegan at all.

Oh ok. I'll do that then.

What if you said you were only willing to date non-pedophiles? They would probably agree with that....The reason they don't respect your desire to date vegans, is because they see no value in your ethics, and have no respect for veganism.

I was thinking the exact same thing, but it's nice to read it from someone else haha.