Friend in Gang in Morocco

[EquALLity]

I have a friend I met through a mutual friend who I've recently been starting to get to know better. She travels to Morocco in the summer because that's where her parents are from.

She seems so nice, but she told me recently about being apart of a gang in Morocco. Not a group of friends, a legitimate gang, with ranks, and violence, and crime.

They play card games where people who lose have to be hit (number of times depending on cards) or take dares (number of times depending on cards).
They dared an eight year old to walk into traffic. According to my friend, they forced him to while he didn't want to and was resisting, and she has no problem with it at all.

I asked her the age of the youngest person who plays the card game. It's four.
She said that they don't actually harm him though, because his eleven year old brother is the leader of the younger sect of the gang, and he's dangerous, or something. But she said that if that person wasn't his brother that they (and she) would've harmed him.

I tried to explain why people who are four can't give consent and understand the magnitude of the situation, but she said that it's different with four year olds in Morocco, because of the culture, and that they really do understand and are much more mature. >.<
And she threw a knife at a little kid.

Apparently she met them because of one night around two in the morning when she couldn't fall asleep, and decided to go out and play soccer. Some guy from the gang was biking really quickly towards her, and she was worried he was going to do something, so she asked him if he wanted to play soccer. So they did, and he started asking her for personal information (like her real name and Facebook account). She gave him a fake account, but later found out that he lives on the same block as her aunt or something, and she ended up giving her real account somehow.

There are people there who want to marry her, and she feels threatened with violence if she says no. I'm trying to convince her to GTFO of the gang, but she won't listen.
"It's normal there."
"You don't understand, the gang is family."
"Bonds form really quickly."
"I almost considered running away and staying with the gang. It would be really easy."
"You might think that we treat the kids bad, but you should hear what their parents do to them."

She said that she likes being in the gang more than how she is in America.

I could go on, but I think that it's pretty clear that if she's telling the truth that she's vicious. I'm just not sure what to do about it. She said that her parents don't know... Hm... I might have a moral obligation to tell them. What do you guys think? I'd hate to do that, but I haven't been able to convince her to get out of the gang.

She's been showing me the gang members Facebook accounts, so I could contact them.

Also, I should note that she has a bit of a history of cheating/lying.
I'm starting to wonder why I'm friends with her.

I didn't know about this stuff until very recently, and she seemed so nice. And she is pretty nice to me, but... she's horrible in Morocco. She said that if I saw how she was in the gang that I'd want a restraining order...

Also note that, according to her, she's spent one month with them and met them the last time she was in Morocco (the summer).

[Insert name here]

That's quite a story. In regard to the fact that you are unsure as to why you are friends with her, it's like you said, she was a friend of your friend. I don't really know what kind of advice to give you, I would sever all of my ties, but that is me, I don't know if that's what you want to do. If she really has a history of cheating and lying, then you can't really trust what she says now can you? Even in gangs, I can't fathom why any of the members would injure and perhaps even murder other members for any other reason than to rise up in it's ranks. It surely sounds like a very toxic environment that your friend is in. Maybe she has some inner conflict between her life in the gang, and her life in the States. But that's my thoughts, and more often than naught, they tend to be wrong. So take from this what you will.

[EquALLity]

That's quite a story. In regard to the fact that you are unsure as to why you are friends with her, it's like you said, she was a friend of your friend.

Yeah, and that makes it really complicated, because we all hang out together. >.<

I don't really know what kind of advice to give you, I would sever all of my ties, but that is me, I don't know if that's what you want to do.

Hm...

Do you think I have an ethical obligation to try to stop her from doing evil things by telling her parents?

If she really has a history of cheating and lying, then you can't really trust what she says now can you?

Yeah. So complicated.

Even in gangs, I can't fathom why any of the members would injure and perhaps even murder other members for any other reason than to rise up in it's ranks.

I don't know if it has a lot of ranks, but even so, it's just... WTF?

From what she told me, there are two groups in the gang- one for the younger members and one for the older members. The younger members have an eleven year old leader, and there's also a leader for the older members.

By the way, the eight year old didn't die. Not that that makes it ok.

It surely sounds like a very toxic environment that your friend is in.

Yeah, but she doesn't show any signs of seeing it that way. She even said she prefers it there.

But wow... She seems so nice. And when she tells me these stories, she doesn't get all dark and creepy; she tells them as if they're funny stories, or like they're just another set of stories.

As if like, "Yeah, I went to the mall, and... OH! Did I tell you about when I forced an eight year old to walk into traffic?"

She said that when she was younger in Morocco, her cousins told her to walk into some cement-making thing (as a justification for forcing little kids to do dangerous things). Maybe since she's been in a crazy environment for so long, it just seems ok to her.

[Insert name here]

Yeah, and that makes it really complicated, because we all hang out together. >.<

Does your mutual friend know about her involvement in a Moroccan gang?

Do you think I have an ethical obligation to try to stop her from doing evil things by telling her parents?

That depends, do you know for certain that they don't know about her gang affiliation? There is a possibility that they may not care.

Yeah. So complicated.

I wouldn't know how that feels.

I don't know if it has a lot of ranks, but even so, it's just... WTF?

From what she told me, there are two groups in the gang- one for the younger members and one for the older members. The younger members have an eleven year old leader, and there's also a leader for the older members.

By the way, the eight year old didn't die. Not that that makes it ok.

This makes me wonder why they would recruit members at that young of an age, how useful could they be?

Yeah, but she doesn't show any signs of seeing it that way. She even said she prefers it there.

But wow... She seems so nice. And when she tells me these stories, she doesn't get all dark and creepy; she tells them as if they're funny stories, or like they're just another set of stories.

As if like, "Yeah, I went to the mall, and... OH! Did I tell you about when I forced an eight year old to walk into traffic?"

She said that when she was younger in Morocco, her cousins told her to walk into some cement-making thing (as a justification for forcing little kids to do dangerous things). Maybe since she's been in a crazy environment for so long, it just seems ok to her.

It seems as though she may be unsatisfied with her life outside the gang, perhaps the gets a sense of belonging, social acceptance is very important to most humans. It could also be a way to quench a thirst for power, strength in numbers I suppose.

I cite this to help prove this point.

It's normal there.
You don't understand, the gang is family.
Bonds form really quickly.
I almost considered running away and staying with the gang, it would be really easy.
You might think we treat the kids bad, but you should hear what their parents do to them.

As an ending note to this post, it is rather idiotic to say that a four year old in Morocco can understand and consent in that type of situation just because they live in a different culture than the States.

[brimstoneSalad]

I would avoid her, and find a new group of friends to hang out with.

If you tell her parents, she may harm you. She apparently thinks that kind of thing is OK. You don't have an obligation to risk your life for her. Her parents are probably abusive and incompetent.

[EquALLity]

Does your mutual friend know about her involvement in a Moroccan gang?

I think so, but to a really small extent.

What are you suggesting though? Tell everyone we hang out with together and destroy her friendships with them? That'd push her more towards the gang.

That depends, do you know for certain that they don't know about her gang affiliation? There was is a possibility that they may not care.

According to her, they don't know, and her parents are pretty strict.

This makes me wonder why they would recruit members at that young of an age, how useful could they be?

Hm... Maybe to get them involved in it early, to make them more likely to be in it later in life?

It seems as though she may be unsatisfied with her life outside the gang, perhaps the gets a sense of belonging, social acceptance is very important to most humans.

If that's the situation, I think it would be extremely counterproductive to try to turn people against her for involvement in the gang.

It could also be a way to quench a thirst for power, strength in numbers I suppose.

I don't know, maybe. What do you think could be done about that?

As an ending note to this post, it is rather idiotic to say that a four year old in Morocco can understand and consent in that type of situation just because they live in a different culture than the States.

I think she knows that, but is just in denial.

[EquALLity]

I would avoid her, and find a new group of friends to hang out with.

If you tell her parents, she may harm you. She apparently thinks that kind of thing is OK. You don't have an obligation to risk your life for her. Her parents are probably abusive and incompetent.

Are you saying to just disconnect with everyone I know who hangs out with her?

I don't think she would. She's said a few times that violence isn't really punished by law in Morocco like it is here.
Here, she wouldn't really be able to get away with it. And I don't think she's ever hurt anyone before in America.

She's said before that it's 'entertaining' to do that violent stuff. So I'd think she'd be doing it in America already, if she didn't feel deterred by the law.

I meant, do you think that I have a moral obligation to tell her parents, so they get her out of the gang, so she doesn't terrorize people in Morocco etc.? I wasn't talking about her safety.

You think her parents are abusive? In what way?

They're pretty strict from what I know about them, like they don't let her sleep over peoples' houses etc..
Maybe the gang makes her feel free from the very strong over-protectiveness of her parents.

[brimstoneSalad]

Are you saying to just disconnect with everyone I know who hangs out with her?

If that's what's necessary, sure. She apparently talks like this a lot. But talk to them first. Explain to them you don't want to be around her because she's some kind of sociopath who enjoys violence, so if she's there you won't be. If some of them agree with you, make your own little group without her.

I don't think she would. She's said a few times that violence isn't really punished by law in Morocco like it is here.
Here, she wouldn't really be able to get away with it. And I don't think she's ever hurt anyone before in America.

That's all you have to go on? It's not much. If she was pissed at you because her parents beat her for being in a gang and wouldn't let her go back, and as a consequence (like teens do) decided her life was over, she would very likely take it out on you consequences be damned. And anonymity doesn't really work in cases like these.

I meant, do you think that I have a moral obligation to tell her parents, so they get her out of the gang, so she doesn't terrorize people in Morocco etc.? I wasn't talking about her safety.

If you want to do anything about it, I suggest instead that you inform the FBI/CIA or whatever relevant authorities that deal with international crime. They can decide what to do. Most gangs earn income through drug smuggling and sales, and she may be involved in that too.

If you want to go all out, check to see if your state is one party or two party consent for voice recording. If it's one party, then record her making these confessions, and turn it over to the authorities.

She's a criminal, her parents don't need to have anything to do with it (they would just beat her, lock her at home, and make things worse -- make her more rebellious). If the authorities think it's credible and a danger to society, they can look into it.

Keep in mind, this is putting your life in danger.
Otherwise, just do nothing, and disassociate yourself with her.

Like I said, though, I don't think you have a responsibility to put yourself in danger like this. Just get away from her.

You think her parents are abusive? In what way?

They're pretty strict from what I know about them, like they don't let her sleep over peoples' houses etc..
Maybe the gang makes her feel free from the very strong over-protectiveness of her parents.

They probably beat her when they find she has misbehaved. Also, emotionally abuse as you mentioned through the controlling upbringing. Shitty parents, shitty kids who join gangs. It's not easy to get out. I would cut my losses, unless she asks for help.

[EquALLity]

If that's what's necessary, sure. She apparently talks like this a lot. But talk to them first. Explain to them you don't want to be around her because she's some kind of sociopath who enjoys violence, so if she's there you won't be. If some of them agree with you, make your own little group without her.

Pretty recently, and really just with me.

I don't know about trying to turn people against her. That'll push her more towards the gang.

If you want to do anything about it, I suggest instead that you inform the FBI/CIA or whatever relevant authorities that deal with international crime. They can decide what to do. Most gangs earn income through drug smuggling and sales, and she may be involved in that too.

Hm, drug smuggling...
She told me that at one point, the gang got in some truck or something, but wouldn't let her come. They apparently came back in like five minutes, and said they went to the city, but the city was like twenty minutes away. I don't remember if they had any substances; I'm asking her about that.

They are definitely involved in crime though. They apparently broke into a store. >.<

If you want to go all out, check to see if your state is one party or two party consent for voice recording. If it's one party, then record her making these confessions, and turn it over to the authorities.

One party, apparently.

And I have some of their Facebook accounts, which I assume have the real names of the gang members.

Keep in mind, this is putting your life in danger.
Otherwise, just do nothing, and disassociate yourself with her

I only really see her in school, where we have police. I don't think she's ever even been to my house (not that she couldn't get my address, but still).

They probably beat her when they find she has misbehaved. Also, emotionally abuse as you mentioned through the controlling upbringing. Shitty parents, shitty kids who join gangs. It's not easy to get out. I would cut my losses, unless she asks for help.

I'll ask her about her parents. If they beat her, that's another issue that needs to be reported.

[brimstoneSalad]

I would really leave this alone, though.

Along the lines of "you can't save every kitten".
It's a question of the amount of work you'd need to put in, and the probability of getting any returns.

You'll do a lot of work, put yourself at a great risk, and the probability of doing any good at all is very small. It's a bad investment, unfortunately.