Philosophical Vegan Forum

Do you think it is possible (or wise) to have a relationship with a theist? If you have any personal experience that would be great. If not can you give your own explanation as to why or why not it would work?

Right now I'm currently dating a catholic woman. We recently started a relationship and I've been avoiding the topic of religion, but not intentionally. She is not a devout catholic but only use it to describe her family's religious belief. I'm not asking for advice, just using myself as an explain of what I am asking.

I personally have no experience in this topic, but I think this video will help you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KFtqQRa12I

Fit&CleanAtheist wrote:Do you think it is possible (or wise) to have a relationship with a theist? If you have any personal experience that would be great. If not can you give your own explanation as to why or why not it would work?

Right now I'm currently dating a catholic woman. We recently started a relationship and I've been avoiding the topic of religion, but not intentionally. She is not a devout catholic but only use it to describe her family's religious belief. I'm not asking for advice, just using myself as an explain of what I am asking.

Im married to a religious person. She is by no means a fundamentalist theist, but she does believe in a god and a lot of the traditional elements of religion. We make it work because we respect each other and while we hold differing views, we love each other. It would be easier if your partner believes as you do, but I make it work and we have a happy marriage.

depends on how fundamental they are. to be honest I can date a "spiritual" person but christianity and islam are a bit of a turn off. I just can't imagine being with someone who ignores all the evil verses in their religious book. I have had 2 great relationships that I don't regret in the least with people who identified as spiritual one Baha'i the other some other Wicca new age thing.
I dated a catholic but I uncovered all her issues that I think stemmed from repression and I ended it.

If you are planning to not have Children, you should be OK to just avoid the topic if you want to go that way.

Most of the issues come up in child raising. That's also one of the things that makes divorce most painful.

If you're planning on something long term, a vasectomy would be a good idea (particularly since Catholics tend to frown on birth control).

If she's not seriously religious, she should be easy to deconvert- at least to admit being "agnostic"
But if you're going to play that gambit, you have to be willing to risk ending the relationship (that she'll get angry that you criticized her beliefs and leave in a huff).

IMO, it's a win either way.

If they're reasonable and come around- they're worth staying with.
If they get angry over something like that and freak out- you saved yourself trouble down the road.

Alternatively:

If you want to do it in a safer way, you can ask her to watch Atheist videos and movies with you- in a sense, you can take her temperature on the subject while watching, and try to start discussions.

If you nudge somebody gently enough, even more volatile people can be brought to reason without breaking a relationship.
I'm not so patient though.

I've had relations with an atheist before, we simply agreed to disagree. it didn't hinder the romantic relationship in any way, mostly because we avoided it.

It becomes more complicated when you date someone of a different religion... NOW THAT IS BLOODY

revankatal wrote:I've had relations with an atheist before, we simply agreed to disagree. it didn't hinder the romantic relationship in any way, mostly because we avoided it.

It becomes more complicated when you date someone of a different religion... NOW THAT IS BLOODY

I wouldn't necessarily agree. I have a friend who's father is Jewish and his mother is Christian and from what I've experienced in their household that they have a happy marriage and relationship with each other.

I think it depends on both you and your significant other's feelings about the subject. I was dating a muslim girl for a while and the topic of religion didn't come up much. She began to talk more about her faith and I told her about my position, and we agreed that our relationship would not work indefinitely. What would we tell the kids? I cannot raise children in a religious home. I will not. I feel very strongly about this issue and so I really need someone who is open minded or is already an agnostic, atheist or an anti theist. That is just me though. Plenty of atheists have happy meaningful relationships with believers. I just can't.